My feisty, Irish grandmother, Maud Hogan Tobin, was quite the newspaper clipper. She also typed out things she particularly liked, such as the following “Parable of the Ism’s”.
Parable of the Ism’s, by Silas Strawn, 1935
SOCIALISM: If you have two cows, you give one to your neighbor.
COMMUNISM: If you have two cows, you give them to the government and the government then gives you some milk.
FASCISM: If you have two cows, and give the milk to the government; then the government sells you some milk.
NEW DEALISM: If you have two cows, you shoot one and milk the other; then you pour the milk down the drain.
NAZISM: If you have two cows, the government shoots you and keeps the cows.
CAPITALISM: If you have two cows, you sell one and buy a bull.
From an address by Silas Strawn to the Economic Club of Chicago on 29 November 1935.